so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And then he peed in my hair
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