The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?