So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.