My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
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If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me