Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do