I wanna bring you to show and tell
one two three fourrrrnication!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?