I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?