I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.