The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.