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Last Night in Rhode Island (401)

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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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(401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp

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apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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(401): apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat. http://tfl.nu/jsnf

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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

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(401): she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride. http://tfl.nu/b4k2

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so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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(401): so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now" http://tfl.nu/ut9w

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so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

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(401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd

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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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(401): She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY. http://tfl.nu/e2x6

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So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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(401): So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session http://tfl.nu/9nzb

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he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.

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(401): he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys. http://tfl.nu/w8m7

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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...

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told you he was gay.

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(401): he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head... (1-401): told you he was gay. http://tfl.nu/35fi

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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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(401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn

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Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(401): Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home http://tfl.nu/zrvk

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she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.

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(401): she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits. http://tfl.nu/xfwk

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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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(401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs

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So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v

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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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(401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl

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Last Night in Rhode Island (401)

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