At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....