Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (773)

Last Night in Illinois (773)

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(773): View more from Illinois

hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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(773): hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her. http://tfl.nu/rlge

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(773): View more from Illinois

When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"

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Prob not but she was surprised

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(773): When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate" (312): Prob not but she was surprised http://tfl.nu/a9jx

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(914): View more from New York

? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?

(773): View more from Illinois

jesus mom

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(914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum? (773): jesus mom http://tfl.nu/qe6d

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(650): View more from California

PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?

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No - puma.

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(650): PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar? (773): No - puma. http://tfl.nu/r06a

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I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.

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(773): I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend. (1-773): Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you. http://tfl.nu/z52z

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(773): View more from Illinois

I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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(773): I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch. http://tfl.nu/99z3

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I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.

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(773): I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne. http://tfl.nu/lh1l

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In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on

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(773): In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on http://tfl.nu/7jta

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Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

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(773): Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home? http://tfl.nu/5b5c

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(773): View more from Illinois

you want me

(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'd rather choke on a dick.

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(773): you want me (978): i'd rather choke on a dick. http://tfl.nu/nrvz

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(773): View more from Illinois

Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

(773): View more from Illinois

"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

(773): View more from Illinois

I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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(773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s

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(773): View more from Illinois

Right on... I dropped my chapstick

(269): View more from Michigan

I blacked out

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(773): Right on... I dropped my chapstick (269): I blacked out http://tfl.nu/qsqj

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(248): View more from Michigan

dats a huuuuuge bitch!

(773): View more from Illinois

who is this????

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(248): dats a huuuuuge bitch! (773): who is this???? http://tfl.nu/bpgf

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Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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(773): Oh just a soda. I'm "driving" http://tfl.nu/spob

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I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

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(773): I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying http://tfl.nu/t0mj

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Last Night in Illinois (773)

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