His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in