i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.