I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...