NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.