there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going