She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.