So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.