found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.