I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"