Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.