So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.