Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.