My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
34 Tweets About Student Debt That Will Make You Laugh and Cry At The Same Time
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
32 of the Pettiest, Most Hilarious Reasons People Have Broken Up With Someone