all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.