I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours