I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?