he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.