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I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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