we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore