I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.