I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.