i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Your dad touched me again.
brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
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btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
her vagina looked like bernie madoff