He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We won't sleep together?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
34 Tweets About Student Debt That Will Make You Laugh and Cry At The Same Time
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
14 Craigslist Ads That Will Make You Lose Your Faith in Humanity
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
32 of the Pettiest, Most Hilarious Reasons People Have Broken Up With Someone