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How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
plz talk dirty to me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
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