Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (212)

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  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

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  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (914)
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  plz talk dirty to me

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  (212): plz talk dirty to me http://tfl.nu/4w96
  Replies (11) Good night (1909) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

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  (212): that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me http://tfl.nu/xacv
  Replies (22) Good night (1209) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"

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  (212): yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer" http://tfl.nu/u5kx
  Replies (9) Good night (7270) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (488) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday

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  (212): I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday http://tfl.nu/8t4e
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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  (212): 1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square. http://tfl.nu/c9pr
  Replies (4) Good night (2356) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating

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  (212): it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating http://tfl.nu/p848
  Replies (19) Good night (4217) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.

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  (212): My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing. http://tfl.nu/8vqg
  Replies (3) Good night (2745) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed

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  (212): what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed http://tfl.nu/4tby
  Replies (3) Good night (1344) Bad night (827)
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  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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  (212): ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years. http://tfl.nu/7axl
  Replies (36) Good night (1751) Bad night (821)
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  True but thats because hes a fetus.

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  (212) True but thats because hes a fetus. http://tfl.nu/yw68
  Replies (6) Good night (519) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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  (212): I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking. http://tfl.nu/4blg
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  Anderson Cooper just came out.

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  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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  (917): Anderson Cooper just came out. (212): Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor. http://tfl.nu/cxy2
  Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (815)
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  The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

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  (212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k
  Replies (9) Good night (2265) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt