Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (201)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni
  Replies (193) Good night (2908) Bad night (15374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night http://tfl.nu/v4yn
  Replies (73) Good night (1147) Bad night (12714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question? http://tfl.nu/fkcd
  Replies (76) Good night (918) Bad night (11418)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin.. http://tfl.nu/g7eu
  Replies (30) Good night (816) Bad night (8422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator. http://tfl.nu/ju6d
  Replies (70) Good night (1189) Bad night (8021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion http://tfl.nu/9p9w
  Replies (47) Good night (2350) Bad night (7960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice. http://tfl.nu/k20h
  Replies (76) Good night (650) Bad night (7262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/ojs9
  Replies (29) Good night (1109) Bad night (6598)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he confused my yawn for an orgasm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): he confused my yawn for an orgasm http://tfl.nu/lvnz
  Replies (14) Good night (951) Bad night (6401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince". http://tfl.nu/a6t0
  Replies (34) Good night (5607) Bad night (6327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them http://tfl.nu/szer
  Replies (14) Good night (2273) Bad night (6263) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me http://tfl.nu/61f7
  Replies (24) Good night (561) Bad night (6262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures. http://tfl.nu/5w6x
  Replies (16) Good night (596) Bad night (5514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this. http://tfl.nu/pmcq
  Replies (21) Good night (1140) Bad night (5475)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well. http://tfl.nu/l70h
  Replies (17) Good night (853) Bad night (5428) Order T-Shirt