You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i only shaved half my leg
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....