He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.