Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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