This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
