she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"