U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table