If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
These 28 Incredible Photos Are Some Of The Most Powerful Images In History
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.