Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.