So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i dont even know how to be here
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.