Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube