yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
