That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom