Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom