Texts From Last Night

mj007's Favorites Texts:

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.

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  (703): Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys. http://tfl.nu/ay7v
  Replies (7) Good night (2032) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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  (414): Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests. http://tfl.nu/dptn
  Replies (9) Good night (3813) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (1826) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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  (501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9
  Replies (10) Good night (630) Bad night (2794) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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  (802): Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin? http://tfl.nu/zb3y
  Replies (20) Good night (2713) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.

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  (319): We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world. http://tfl.nu/rh6u
  Replies (12) Good night (2409) Bad night (1241)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit

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  (901): He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit http://tfl.nu/0txt
  Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (2230) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2610) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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  (513): I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration http://tfl.nu/y2rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1459) Bad night (2289) Order T-Shirt