she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"