drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.