You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.