So much puke
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason