Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket