I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday