He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To