Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?