Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?