Texts From Last Night

audreyay's Favorites Texts:

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

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  (319): the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy". http://tfl.nu/gh3y
  Replies (9) Good night (4175) Bad night (1325)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

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  (815): im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine http://tfl.nu/4lyn
  Replies (27) Good night (5699) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Are my feet made of real feet?

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  (740): Are my feet made of real feet? http://tfl.nu/dext
  Replies (17) Good night (5587) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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  (516): the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it. http://tfl.nu/0mw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1998) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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  (559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d
  Replies (14) Good night (3022) Bad night (1419) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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  (715): I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry http://tfl.nu/qzk6
  Replies (23) Good night (1479) Bad night (3942) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

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  (720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket http://tfl.nu/nqxt
  Replies (76) Good night (38312) Bad night (1648) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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  (508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? (1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets. http://tfl.nu/hqfn
  Replies (97) Good night (40129) Bad night (1529)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

  (850): View more from Florida

  I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

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  (850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave? (850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife http://tfl.nu/5iik
  Replies (85) Good night (38116) Bad night (1621)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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  (678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia
  Replies (7) Good night (3559) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

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  (937): Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate http://tfl.nu/e0yr
  Replies (22) Good night (7526) Bad night (1224) Order T-Shirt