I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please, let me fuck your mom