you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
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I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.