There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart