While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.