Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M