At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
