Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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