So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason