Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars